Games!
Games. What makes 'em good?
Number one: Do NOT try to imitate real life! People don't play games to relive elements of the boring lives they lead, they play games to have some fun!
The right way: Saints Row 2. The game is absolutely whacky, and you can just feel the potential for madness flowing over you, but it's fucking hilarious!
The wrong way: GTA IV. If you want to know what's wrong with it, just watch the Zero Punctuation review of Saints Row 2, you'll see! In short; games should not be as dull as normal life!
Number two: Give the main character some...well...fucking character! The GTA III-series went through this like a textbook. It started out with Claude, a useless, mute, doormat with all the personality of a jar of peas. Then it went on to a serious badass, AKA Tommy Vercetti, who knew he wanted to rule the city and he was damn well going to do just that. It all ended with the brilliant social satire of the stereotypical jerks of San Andreas.
Maybe it's just me, but I simply could never really connect with Gordon Freeman because he never said a damn word and just followed people's orders all the time. It gets rather pathetic in the second game, when he comes back as the great saviour of mankind and everyone thinks he's the best thing in the world, yet all he does is follow others, he never ever takes any initiative.
Number three: Well...who gives a damn about number three, if you were a game developer who actually used his brain rather than his scrotum for thought processes and thus could fathom the first two points, THEN we could talk about number three.
tisdag 27 januari 2009
måndag 26 januari 2009
Quite Interesting!
There are many quite interesting facts in the world.
The word "Hello" was invented by Edison, the man who is most famous for the thing he did NOT invent, IE the lightbulb. It was contained in a letter from him in 1887. Previously, there was only the word "Hullo", which was not a greeting but rather an expression of surprise.
The word "Boredom", on the other hand, was invented by Charles Dickens. Plenty of people think that Dickens was a close friend of H.C Andersen, which is simply not true. Andersen lived with Dickens for a few weeks during his stay in England, and Dickens thought he was so dull and boring that he couldn't stand him.
The longest animal in the world is the Bootlace Worm, a type of sea-living worm.
Lightbulbs emit more heat than light.
Natural pearls form from the remains of parasitic nematode worms inside of clams.
The chances of finding a pearl in an oyster in a restaurant are, on the other hand, nil, as that particular kind of bivalve mollusk does not produce pearls at all.
The word "Hello" was invented by Edison, the man who is most famous for the thing he did NOT invent, IE the lightbulb. It was contained in a letter from him in 1887. Previously, there was only the word "Hullo", which was not a greeting but rather an expression of surprise.
The word "Boredom", on the other hand, was invented by Charles Dickens. Plenty of people think that Dickens was a close friend of H.C Andersen, which is simply not true. Andersen lived with Dickens for a few weeks during his stay in England, and Dickens thought he was so dull and boring that he couldn't stand him.
The longest animal in the world is the Bootlace Worm, a type of sea-living worm.
Lightbulbs emit more heat than light.
Natural pearls form from the remains of parasitic nematode worms inside of clams.
The chances of finding a pearl in an oyster in a restaurant are, on the other hand, nil, as that particular kind of bivalve mollusk does not produce pearls at all.
lördag 24 januari 2009
Songs...
Songs!
Songs. What makes them great?
First of all, don't overdo it! The thing that alot of songwriters tend to do is make their songs overly complex and containing a bunch of odd chords and odd scales that really only a music teacher would ever say "That actually fits". I won't mention any names, but Toto is a brilliant example of this. Their songs frequently contain complicated harmonies and the musical equivalent of masturbation. It may be impressive, but so is a monkey dipping his head in cocoa-powder, and I wouldn't want the sound of that coming out of my speakers!
Second of all...well...don't overdo it, again! This one is instead aimed at the singers; keep it simple! Mariah Carey frequently falls into the rather deep pit of wailing and showing off her fabulous voice too much. Again, it's impressive, but it gets bloody dull to listen to for any extended amount of time.
Thirdly; write abstract lyrics. If you're going to use names in the song, make sure it's in a fashion that doesn't give the impression that the song is a detailed description of that person. People want to be able to identify with songs, and they can't do that if the lover you're singing about is called Lois and is 6ft5, has red hair and lives on 35 Spooner St.
Fourthly; never tell anyone what the song is about. Same reason as above.
Fifthly; if you can't get any good ideas of what chord progression to use, do what everyone else does; rip off Canon in D Major by Pachelbel. It ALWAYS sounds good!
Songs. What makes them great?
First of all, don't overdo it! The thing that alot of songwriters tend to do is make their songs overly complex and containing a bunch of odd chords and odd scales that really only a music teacher would ever say "That actually fits". I won't mention any names, but Toto is a brilliant example of this. Their songs frequently contain complicated harmonies and the musical equivalent of masturbation. It may be impressive, but so is a monkey dipping his head in cocoa-powder, and I wouldn't want the sound of that coming out of my speakers!
Second of all...well...don't overdo it, again! This one is instead aimed at the singers; keep it simple! Mariah Carey frequently falls into the rather deep pit of wailing and showing off her fabulous voice too much. Again, it's impressive, but it gets bloody dull to listen to for any extended amount of time.
Thirdly; write abstract lyrics. If you're going to use names in the song, make sure it's in a fashion that doesn't give the impression that the song is a detailed description of that person. People want to be able to identify with songs, and they can't do that if the lover you're singing about is called Lois and is 6ft5, has red hair and lives on 35 Spooner St.
Fourthly; never tell anyone what the song is about. Same reason as above.
Fifthly; if you can't get any good ideas of what chord progression to use, do what everyone else does; rip off Canon in D Major by Pachelbel. It ALWAYS sounds good!
torsdag 22 januari 2009
More booze!
Eager as I am to divulge even more secrets from the enchanted kingdom that is Whisk(e)y, I just could not help myself from so quickly adding another edition of Drwhyn's Drink Time (DDT for short)!
Let us begin!
First of all, a few tips on the consuming itself of whisk(e)y.
You should always make sure that your whisky is room tempered, not a degree warmer or cooler, lest it loses a vast majority of all its flavour. Preferably refraim from drinking it out in the cold, and when inside, remember not to clutch the glass entirely in your hand, instead grip it by the foot and you avoid it getting too warm.
As for ice, it's a big fucking NO NO NO! Not only does it cool down the whiskey as mentioned, it also waters it out, which is just a bloody waste!
Whisky without ice is referred to as "Plain", and if the barman ever asks you if you want it on the rocks, then just say "No, plain, of course!" in your most condescending and disrespectful tone, because he deserves it!
The barman will, however, most likely offer you a small glass (read: shot glass) of water with a straw in it. Do not frown upon this, because it is most considerate! It serves twin purposes; first, it allows you to take a small sip of water now and then so you don't kill off all your taste buds, second, it allows you to deposit a small quantity of water into your whiskey, but ignore that for now, we'll address that in a later lesson!
On to the beverages, shalln't we go?
Grant's! You've all seen their commercials on TV, you've all looked at those beautiful triangular bottles and thought they look great.
Let's get one straight: It sucks!
Grant is simply not a good whisky, it is quite bad. That could be rather surprising since 'tis a reputable scotch, but don't let that fool you. The flavour has a strong element that makes it much worse than most others; bitterness. If there is one thing a whisky should not be, 'tis bitter.
No matter if you are a beginner or a veteran, just stay away from this one!
To counter that dreadful thing, let us look at a rather good, though still not splendid, one.
The Macallan!
It is also a reputable scotch, this one being from the Speyside region. Also, it is the first one on our list to be primarily a Single Malt Whisky, IE it is only made out of malted barley and distilled at a single distillery, not from any other types of grain and not mixed together from different distilleries.. Other types of whisky are instead made from combinations of a few types of grain, most commonly barley and corn.
The Macallan is not as mild as the other ones we've touched upon, and has generally more flavours packed into it. While still not being anywhere near the stronger versions from other parts of Scotland, it is potent. It is, however, smooth as well, making it part of what I would like to call the mainstay of the scotch whiskies. Not one fit for beginners, perhaps, but it doesn't hurt at all to try this one at any time if you want to try out something really good.
If you offer a friend a drink of Macallan, he, or she, will not be disappointed!
Who knows when the next lesson will come along, but I assure you that it will be soon, and I will be back with two a little more distinctive spirits next time!
Let us begin!
First of all, a few tips on the consuming itself of whisk(e)y.
You should always make sure that your whisky is room tempered, not a degree warmer or cooler, lest it loses a vast majority of all its flavour. Preferably refraim from drinking it out in the cold, and when inside, remember not to clutch the glass entirely in your hand, instead grip it by the foot and you avoid it getting too warm.
As for ice, it's a big fucking NO NO NO! Not only does it cool down the whiskey as mentioned, it also waters it out, which is just a bloody waste!
Whisky without ice is referred to as "Plain", and if the barman ever asks you if you want it on the rocks, then just say "No, plain, of course!" in your most condescending and disrespectful tone, because he deserves it!
The barman will, however, most likely offer you a small glass (read: shot glass) of water with a straw in it. Do not frown upon this, because it is most considerate! It serves twin purposes; first, it allows you to take a small sip of water now and then so you don't kill off all your taste buds, second, it allows you to deposit a small quantity of water into your whiskey, but ignore that for now, we'll address that in a later lesson!
On to the beverages, shalln't we go?
Grant's! You've all seen their commercials on TV, you've all looked at those beautiful triangular bottles and thought they look great.
Let's get one straight: It sucks!
Grant is simply not a good whisky, it is quite bad. That could be rather surprising since 'tis a reputable scotch, but don't let that fool you. The flavour has a strong element that makes it much worse than most others; bitterness. If there is one thing a whisky should not be, 'tis bitter.
No matter if you are a beginner or a veteran, just stay away from this one!
To counter that dreadful thing, let us look at a rather good, though still not splendid, one.
The Macallan!
It is also a reputable scotch, this one being from the Speyside region. Also, it is the first one on our list to be primarily a Single Malt Whisky, IE it is only made out of malted barley and distilled at a single distillery, not from any other types of grain and not mixed together from different distilleries.. Other types of whisky are instead made from combinations of a few types of grain, most commonly barley and corn.
The Macallan is not as mild as the other ones we've touched upon, and has generally more flavours packed into it. While still not being anywhere near the stronger versions from other parts of Scotland, it is potent. It is, however, smooth as well, making it part of what I would like to call the mainstay of the scotch whiskies. Not one fit for beginners, perhaps, but it doesn't hurt at all to try this one at any time if you want to try out something really good.
If you offer a friend a drink of Macallan, he, or she, will not be disappointed!
Who knows when the next lesson will come along, but I assure you that it will be soon, and I will be back with two a little more distinctive spirits next time!
No more shit...for a while!
Right, time to start off a new series that I'd like to call Drwhyn's Drink Time (or DDT, for short)!
For this issue, and probably any future issues, we'll be looking at Whisk(e)y!
See, it's simple; if you like irish whiskey, you add an "e", if you like scotch, you don't!
And if you belong to the latter category, you'll probably look down on the former...
Whisk(e)y is usually aged for 10 or 12 years, and when you're dealing with blended types the age written on the bottle is that of the youngest sort present in the mix.
We'll start off with something simple: Jameson.
For any beginner, Jameson is the way to go. It's a blended Irish, triple distilled, whiskey. Basically the irish standard as far as commercial brands go.
The flavour is very smooth, IE it won't knock you on your arse the first time you take a sip. Being a rather typical irish whiskey, it is also not smokey at all.
It is also the basis for any real Irish Coffee, and if you suspect that the barman has made you one with any other type of whiskey, you should go inform him of that and ask for a new one.
In general, it's an easy one to drink. As I said, if you're a beginner, or maybe just want something cheap that you can enjoy often, then Jameson is a good bet.
All in all, I recommend it!
In the interest of fairness, let's grab a hold of what is essentially the scotish equivalent, a rather cheap and commercially succesful "standard whisky"; The Famous Grouse.
It is a blended scotch, and you've probably seen it advertised on the television.
Also being one often recommended to beginners, Famous Grouse is not quite as smooth as Jameson, but still falls comfortably within the smooth part of the spectrum, being just a tad sharper on the tongue.
You could easily describe it as being a "regular" whisky. Not fantastically good, nor in any way bad, just...plain. For those who delight in all manifestation of the malted brews, it'll do just fine, but it is not likely to encourage any epiphanies.
Tune in later for my next issue, which will be looking at the slightly better, and slightly worse, that the world of spirits has to offer!
For this issue, and probably any future issues, we'll be looking at Whisk(e)y!
See, it's simple; if you like irish whiskey, you add an "e", if you like scotch, you don't!
And if you belong to the latter category, you'll probably look down on the former...
Whisk(e)y is usually aged for 10 or 12 years, and when you're dealing with blended types the age written on the bottle is that of the youngest sort present in the mix.
We'll start off with something simple: Jameson.
For any beginner, Jameson is the way to go. It's a blended Irish, triple distilled, whiskey. Basically the irish standard as far as commercial brands go.
The flavour is very smooth, IE it won't knock you on your arse the first time you take a sip. Being a rather typical irish whiskey, it is also not smokey at all.
It is also the basis for any real Irish Coffee, and if you suspect that the barman has made you one with any other type of whiskey, you should go inform him of that and ask for a new one.
In general, it's an easy one to drink. As I said, if you're a beginner, or maybe just want something cheap that you can enjoy often, then Jameson is a good bet.
All in all, I recommend it!
In the interest of fairness, let's grab a hold of what is essentially the scotish equivalent, a rather cheap and commercially succesful "standard whisky"; The Famous Grouse.
It is a blended scotch, and you've probably seen it advertised on the television.
Also being one often recommended to beginners, Famous Grouse is not quite as smooth as Jameson, but still falls comfortably within the smooth part of the spectrum, being just a tad sharper on the tongue.
You could easily describe it as being a "regular" whisky. Not fantastically good, nor in any way bad, just...plain. For those who delight in all manifestation of the malted brews, it'll do just fine, but it is not likely to encourage any epiphanies.
Tune in later for my next issue, which will be looking at the slightly better, and slightly worse, that the world of spirits has to offer!
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