lördag 27 mars 2010

Lots of stuff!

Alright, got alot of catching up to do, so let's get to it!

First point on the agenda; Lost. Hasn't it occurred to anyone that that show is absolutely fucking bananas? It's nuts! Crazy! Insane! It doesn't jump the shark, it flies constantly above it, on a pig! How can someone watch that useless crap?! There is no message behind it, there's no logic, there's just a bunch of incredibly incompetent writers who make up shit in exchange for a paycheck! It doesn't make any fucking sense whatsoever!

Second order of business; Batman: Arkham Asylum! How on earth did that game come to be? It's abso-fucking-lutely brilliant! The graphics, the animations, the controls, the characters, the story, it's just so incredibly great! So how on earth did the developers let this happen? A game of this quality comes around once every decade, if we're lucky, and between them the developers seem to just be phoning it in with every possible bit of the design on all other games.

Take Far Cry 2, for instance. The graphics and physics were some of the best I've ever seen. What was the problem? Everything else! The characterization wasn't there. There were supposed to be two different factions to work for, but since every single person outside of the main town was out to kill YOU, and do nothing else at all than kill YOU, you didn't really notice much difference apart from which building across the street you picked up the quests from

The natives never ever fought amongst themselves, there was complete peace and order in the little african country until you showed up, and anyone you encounter in the entire game will drop everything they're doing to hunt you down and kill you if they so much as get a whiff of your cologne!

Let's also look at Command & Conquer 4!

The earlier games in the series were built on the basis of building basic bases, basically, then training tonnes of troops to beat the enemy into submission with, all the while balancing offense and defense, managing your economy and enjoying the slaughter.

So, seeing as how this model had been so successful in the past, naturally EALA went and changed it completely.

Base-building? Gone, you now get exactly ONE structure, which is an MCV that conveniently builds all your units.

Economy? Gone, the game has no economic system at all, beyond you having to gather small tiberium samples to fund your research of new technologies, where one single crystal let's you research about half of all the potential technology in three seconds.

Large armies? Gone, you get a ridiculous population limit, so instead of a huge army of troops, you can get six tanks and three soldiers. Thus, any battle becomes a question of just churning out a steady stream of units rather than actually having something that at least remotely resembles an army.

Big-name actors? Gone, apart from Kane himself, there isn't a single face you'll ever recognize in any of the cutscenes.

So, apparently, EALA knew perfectly well which bits made Command & Conquer good, isolated them, and then burned them under ritual circumstances to make sure it would never affect the development of Command & Conquer 4.

You fucking whankers!