Video Gaming!

As everyone who's ever asked me "Are you into video games?" knows well by now, I'm into video games! Not that there's much time for that inbetween meeting hot chicks and drinking large amounts of alcohol, playing guitar, bass, piano and singing, but it just goes to show what we already knew; I'm fucking awesome!

Through the years, and with increasingly powerful graphics cards and varying price, the expectations on the gaming experience have gone the way of the Challenger; high into the air then exploded in a determined effort not to have to go down again.

So I sat at my computer and was bored out of my mind from the lack of anything interesting to play. I had Spore, Command & Conquer The Complete Fucking Collection, Oblivion, Call of Duty 1-9, yet I had stopped enjoying them.

Hence why I bought the Xbox 360. Got a good deal for a used Premium at my nearest GAME-store. So I had to buy some games for it. Those games ended up being Perfect Dark Zero, The Darkness and King Kong, incidentally all FPS-games.

Previously, I had thought FPS gaming could never work well on consoles because of the lack of mouse+keyboard. But oh was I ever fucking mistaken. It was much, and I do mean MUCH, more fun to play it with a controller!

The Darkness was completely awesome, Perfect Dark Zero was a great FPS, just a tad short, and King Kong, in spite of being one of those hated License-games made to capitalize on the success of a great Hollywood-movie, had smooth controls, pretty decent graphics and is so long I still haven't finished it, which immediately puts it in the upper echelon of all the games I have ever played in my life! That, and you get to control a fucking giant gorilla, can it get more awesome than that?!

I feel the need to make a special mention of The Darkness, simply because it is quite a unique game, both when it comes to story and gameplay. Chances are, you have never played a game quite like it, and you probably never will. It goes places that most FPS games would fiercely avoid, and if you're willing to disregard the miniscule lip-movements of the characters, this game will draw you in like a power-ballad by Cinderella!

Next I bought Too Human and Far Cry Instincts: Predator. Far Cry was...disappointing. The graphics were not at all up to snuff, and the controls were much too jerky, which made aiming a tedious hit-and-miss (Hilarious pun, non?) affair.
Too Human was another thing entirely. It is something as unique as a hack-n-slash/RPG hybrid. You get to upgrade your skills, choose class and upgrade your equipment, but mostly it consists of killing tonnes of machines. The game did appear slightly iffy to me, though, because the character is somewhat too limited in many way, it feels like you would need much more tools of destruction as well as restoration to be able to tackle some of the harder encounters.
But the game just tends to disarm my criticism with how well the presentation works. The graphics are top-notch, the characters and story are funny as hell at some points, cutting a mechanical troll down to size is really satisfying, and more.
You'll die often, though, and you'll tire of it pretty quickly, since every single time you die, a valkyrie descends and picks up your corpse allowing you to respawn. But it's not as bad as you might thing, for me it's more like an opportunity to rethink my strategy, which is fairly rare in such games.

Oh well, that'll be all for tonight!

Fucking hell!

See, I recently watched an episode of Bullshit! wherein they raved on about idiots who want to ban all forms of cursing and profanities.
So, I'll just procede to list pretty much all the expressions containing "colourful metaphores" that I consider perfectly fine to use in any regular sentence!

Fuck, shit, hell, shagged, screwed, sucks, blows, sucks ass, sucks monkeyfuck, fuckwad, fuck off, fuck you, screw you, go to hell, eat me, bite me, dick, suck it, shit the fuck, fucking suck it fucks, tits (not in any way a profanity, I just feel inadequate as a man without making at least one mention of female breasts each day), cunt, motherfucker, dickhead, fuckhead, pussy, asshole, anus, american, fat stinking jerk, pimhole, fusk, clothprunker, smucktating and finally, pempslider!

There are many other combinations and variations upon these expressions, of course, and I strongly urge all who read this to keep inventing new ways to cuss, and I will be delighted the more inventive people turn out to be when it comes to profanities!

Naturally, I will also be equally disgusted if an attractive female friend of mine, no particular one in mind, does not greet me with the words "Hi there, you old cunt". Because in all fairness, who wants to be known as a complete pussy?

Judas Priest!

This isn't the brightest part of my life, but here goes:

At some point, I don't have a clue when it was, I was invited by a friend to go with her to a concert with, you guessed it, Judas Priest.

It was a pretty nice evening, spoiled by only one dreadful event that made me regret ever going to Stockholm that day.

That event was the concert itself. It was...bad...

Not only were the old legends tired and addled by enough drugs and alcohol to at least make an irishman slightly tipsy, the playlist was a disaster.

First of all, the second song they played was "Electric Eye", so right there vanished the only real reason for attending at all. Good job! ...assholes...

Second, rather than going with a stripped down hardrock sound that they did back in the day, they decided to fill the whole thing with a whole lot of jerking off their guitars! They are instruments, not penises for christs sake!

Third, Rob Halford should have quit years ago, his voice was nothing like it used to be! They did "Painkiller" and "Riding On The Wind", and all Halford did was stand half-bent trying to screech his was up to the higher notes, without much success, making it absolutely impossible to recognize a single word of what he was, supposedly, singing.

Somewhere near the end they finally did "Living After Midnight", after which me and my pal promptly left.

That concert was simply not good, and it completely killed any interest I had in the band right there.

Next time we'll be listening to one of my big rants again, the next subject will be an earlier concert with Europe. Find out if it sucked or rocked!

Bon Jovi!

I guess it was unavoide...unavoidy...couldn't be avoided, the spotlight falls on Bon Jovi!

I remember the first time I started listening to them, it was my older brother who played lots of their music on his brand new overpowered stereo. At the time, I thought it was Bryan Adams, because as weird as it sounds, I knew roughly nothing about rock music and just associated with the closest thing I had heard that far.

Then my younger brother became a HUGE fan of Bon Jovi, fascinatingly enough, and he never missed an opportunity to help the rest of the family listen to his ever growing number of records.

At this point I knew roughly two songs: "I'll Be There For You" and "Livin' On A Prayer", by the way.

So here's what I did: I drove my little brother away from the computer and punched up the Crush Tour Live-DVD, and I listened...and listened, until it was late at night and I was dead tired, but I had discovered a veritable pot of golden rock.

Now, the rest could very well have been history, if it hadn't been for the fact that it was not.

Being the unforgivable nerd and arrogant jerk that I am, I suggest ones in music class that maybe my ensemble should perform "Bed of Roses". See, in my gratuitous self-glorification, I actually pretended like I could sing that song with any dignity. So, that's what happened, on a concert in school I was stuck in front of a bunch of high-school students, and I was verily singing "Bed Of Roses". I personally felt like I fell flat on my face with a dreadful performance, but naturally everyone around me lied through their teeth and said it was beautiful.

And as the ultimate useless anecdote, during my first year of high school, my interest in Bon Jovi lead fate to be nice for once and throw a person my way, whom just so happens to be the biggest fan of Bon Jovi I have ever met.
You know damn well who you are, and you still mean a whole fucking lot to me!