Religion!

Now is that most special time of year; the time when I decide to say nasty things about religion and religious people.

First of all, what is religion? It is something that is very suitable for the large parts of the human race that favour bandwagons, hating those who are not on the bandwagon, and following ridiculous arbitrary rules and limitations. Also, and this is the part that bugs me, there existing no vertical discussion whatsoever.

Let's look at a piece of the Bible, that I find to perfectly illustrate the lack of critical thinking involved in religion!

Once upon a time, much earlier than last wednesday, there once was a man named Saul. He spent his days, merrily and gayly persecuting christians. In essence, he tried to kill them all, and since I've never been known to be above the odd dick-joke, I say it was because he was compensating for something...you know what!

But, see, his chosen line of profession had run into some difficulties; the christians were getting awfully numerous, and as any great persecutor will tell you, times are not necessarily good to you, if the persecutees outnumber the persecutors ten to one.

Thusly, all of a sudden, literally out of the blue, he had an epiphany! A, literally, blinding light struck him, and god told him to stop being such a fucking tosser to his babies.

Afterwards, he went and met with some of the people who he had been trying to butcher. He told them that he had received a vision from god, but that it had unfortunately made him blind as a bat. Here comes the funny part though; the idiots actually believed him. More stunning is, after them having prayed abit for him, he proclaimed that he could see again! What a bloody miracle, you don't find it at all a tad too convenient that he suddenly appeared to have gained absolution, a most fitting argument as to why they oughtn't lynch him?

If it had been me, I would have been slightly wary of Hitler suddenly walking into my living room, telling me that god had made him see the error of his ways, at a time when his chosen direction in life would have meant he'd most likely be hanged.

You don't suppose, just maybe, that Saul was feigning the blindness, and then claiming to have been cured by prayer, when he in fact had 20/20 vision all along, just so he could claim he had in fact been forgiven by the lord?


Of course, the problem with this line of reasoning is that it is contrary to doctrine, and ultimately, priests like sticking with doctrine, and equally ultimately, religious people will side with the fellow in the frock, if things get to a head. The example I have brought up, is just one bit where maybe the reader shouldn't be so utterly naive to believe every single word written, and perhaps not take something that can't possibly be verified scientifically, as gospel (pun intended).

Now, christians can sometimes shift their position, and decide that parts of the Bible are only metaphorical, and do not represent reliable historical facts. But surely, that's just a big cop-out, after all, if the Bible truly was the eternal word of god, surely he'd be able to put a note in the margin, regarding whether or not particularly silly bits are metaphorical or not.

Here's what I wish all religious individuals would do; read their respective holy scripture, and after every sentence just stop for a moment, to reflect on how that would have worked in practical terms, what the logic behind it is, or whether or not what is written is clearly silly. Read the part about Moses parting the Red Sea, and wonder how on earth they could just walk across the sea floor for miles and miles without the egyptians catching up until just after they had all passed it, or how it would have affected the surrounding area, that obviously was not exactly built to accommodate a huge corridor in the middle of the Red Sea being magically dried out.

Think, dammit, think!