Today's topic is dick metal.
What on earth is dick metal? you ask.
It's heavy metal, with a boner, primarily represented by KISS, and perhaps to a lesser degree Whitesnake. Telltale signs are songs entirely about sex, catchy phrases made up of euphemisms for lovemaking, and quite simple lyrics.
What is the problem with KISS, though? Well, they aren't really that great.
See, I went to a concert with them in Stockholm a couple of years ago, and they were quite good. They are brutal, charismatic and have a singer with some genuine talent, but apart from the singer, they are just so mediocre.
Really, Gene Simmons has nothing on some of the truly great bass-players, apart from his tongue, and the other members of the band don't fare much better. Eric Singer has his moments, but he's no Cozy Powell or Ian Paice.
It's basically the singer, Paul Stanley, carrying the whole band, and he is quite excellent. If they just had more than two great songs, they could be great, but they're just pushing the dick metal thing all the way in (pun intended), while Stanley could pull off some of the best hair metal achievements ever.
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